Elegy for Daddy

(After hearing Mark Strand’s Elegy for my Father)

Did you love me best? Sometimes. When it was convenient.
Did you love me best? I loved you as well as I could.
Did you know you were going to leave? I was never really there.
Did you know you were going to leave us? I was never really there.
Were you ever innocent? No one is innocent.
Where you ever innocent? Sin is in the eye of God. I spit in that eye.
Is there a God? Why do you ask me?
Is there a God? I am God, now.
What is in the box? An empty box in an empty box in an empty box in an empty box in an empty box.
Why did you leave us? You will understand someday.
Why did you leave us? You will never understand.
Who did you love best? Myself.
Who did you love best? You are my daughter. My true daughter. And I always love you best.